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Friday 30 January 2015

Proving distance is just a number


Long distance...

Two words which when you hear them you usually summarise in your head a romantic beginning, sad goodbye, amazing reunitation, another sad goodbye and eventually a troubling break-up.

I must admit that I also thought that long distance relationships were something that cannot work and that only the naive or desperate attempted them. However, having been in one for 10 months I can categorically say that they are possible if you find yourself being with the correct person.

Relationships are not something I am going to lecture on about as anyone who does is frankly an arrogant and ignorant twat. They vary for everyone and mine just so happened to involve monthly breaks from my girlfriend, some might think of that as a blessing. Our relationship sort of sprung out of a meeting in a club, very cliche I know, hanging out and using skype for when she returned to keep building upon our friendship. She then came back to England, from Poland that is, and we decided to give it a shot. I can safely say that there are no regrets to that decision and never have there been any doubts.

The longest we have had to endure without each others company is 4 months. This might sound like a huge amount of time but you kind of just accept that there is no other choice and that counting down to when you next see each other is far more enjoyable than counting the days since you last saw each other.

This is not to say it's been all perfect and happy. Of course there have been the odd tear, not from me... We argue occasionally like any other couple but this is usually a result of frustration at the situation we find ourselves in or more commonly, me being an arsehole in some way, no sarcasm in this by the way if you're reading this Weronika.

The only picture I could find when I wasn't pulling a face.
It just takes patience, determination and a real affection felt towards each other. Me and Weronika both have that and it has lead to her spending her summer in England and me spending Christmas in Poland, bloody cold by the way.

The meetings in the airports are incredible and the goodbyes are horrific but if you dwell too much on the goodbyes then you are only going to let bad feelings dominate your relationship.

Luckily Weronika is over tomorrow for 12 days and it gives us the time together that we so deserve. After that... we dont know when the next time will be but knowing there will be is enough for me to keep going.

So if you know someone doing long distance then don't criticise them for it but admire their will power to keep on going. I've found that spending time apart really makes you appreciate what a relationship is about and just multiplies all the feelings you have together. Also, and more importantly, distance can seem like some big ugly word that has to be tackled and cried over but really, if you break it down, it just a number that can always be changed from 1,500km (in my case) to 0 if you really want it.

Wednesday 28 January 2015

A traditional uni birthday

Birthdays are usually the most anticipated day of the year for the majority. Yet as you get older you usually find that they lose the excitement that they originally had until you get to your 18th.

Birthdays from 0-12 usually consist of burgers and ice-cream with the occasional birthday party thrown in every couple of years. At 12-17 they lose a lot of what they originally had and the presents normally dominate the day more than they should. 18+ they become something completely different.

At uni, birthdays aren't always seen as a positive for the individual having the birthday but more of an opportunity. Presents are very rarely anything but a drink in the pub but this is not to mean that it is a kind gesture of buying them there favourite drink.

My birthday started with myself buying a pint and everyone sat together enjoying a simple beverage. Then out of nowhere there were two shots waiting for me on the table. One being black sambuca, a vile liquid thick with everything evil in the world. The second was chili sambuca, a bright green acid that when the disgusting taste has passed a burning goes about destroying your mouth and throat. Luckily the following two drinks were a pint of Carlsberg and my favourite, a pint of Guinness. A few shots of tequila followed and a couple more pints and then the pricks of the group had there say in buying me a drink. Joe, whose birthday drinking session is luckily tonight, bought me something called 'liquid cocaine'. This is a shot made of tequila, gin, vodka and baileys. Then a little bit is extracted so that when necking the shot, the extracted bit is then snorted through a shortened straw. The pain cannot be described in normal langauge but to simplify it, it is not a pleasant experience. The last drink was something called a 'gas chamber'. This is in essence flaming sambuca but the fumes are kept so that after drinking the shot the fumes are inhaled, this time luckily through the mouth. A few pints followed and the rest of the night was left for me to try and digest the foul drinks and for them to laugh at my drunk sayings and doings.

One of the main benefits of having a birthday at uni is that firstly you don't have to worry about coming home to your mum or dad waiting to judge you or see you embarrassing yourself. Another is that if you are living with the people who are giving you the drinks, it is their responsibility to get you home safely so you can get yourself to a proper screwed up state.

So to finish up, if you have a mate who has a birthday coming up don't just settle for buying them a drink. Buy them the strongest/ most repulsive drink that is available as if you're going to spend money on someone, make sure it is well spent. However, this is not to say you shouldn't look after them. As soon as they get that drunk they are your responsibility. So just make sure they get home and that when you are there then anything goes.

Tuesday 27 January 2015

A drunken story

Last Friday (23rd) we found ourselves in the usual scenario of being in the pub, drinking and exchanging jokes at eachothers expense. I was drinking beer at a slow pace as I was hoping to be in the pub for a good few hours and didn't want to peak too early. However, some of the group were planning on going clubbing later in the evening. They tried to persuade me to come but after my first week back at uni I just wanted a chilled out drinking session.

Who was going and who was not was pretty much decided. All apart from one individual, Aaron. Now Aaron originally said no to this and was drinking his double-vodka lemonades at a comfortable pace for the same reasons as I was. But after an hour of chatting and contemplating, Aaron thus decided that clubbing would be a good idea and decided to go. However, there was a problem. When Aaron goes clubbing he can't just be tipsy or even drunk. He has to be absolutely obliterated, so that any hint of self-regard/ safety are long gone. He was though at this point in the night barely fuzzy from what he had consumed and with there being only an hour and a half left till departure, he had to speed up his intake of alcohol. What wasn't expected was the sheer rise in speed of consumption. Originally he was buying one drink to last about half an hour. Now he was buying two at a time to last for 15 minutes before getting another 2. So by the time it came to his leaving he was pretty much seeing double of everything and his eyes glazed over with what I can only imagine being vodka, as I doubt there was any room left for it to go within his body. But either way, he felt he had succeeded in getting him to the state he felt was acceptable to go clubbing and they departed.

3 hours later.

I returned from the pub with some grub and set about eating it whilst drinking some water so that the hangover the next day could be tamed a little. After this was finished I decided to head to bed at around 2am.

Then it all kicked off.

I heard what can only be described as a mixture of a heavy metal scream and the sound of a gag. Yet though this surprised me at first, I immediately knew who was the culprit and decided to investigate. I got to the bathroom on the first floor and found it locked so with a little pick locking, I opened it. What I saw was a hairy blob on the floor with its head buried in the toilet bowl vomiting furiously.
Aaron loves a good flirt
'Mate, you alright?'
The reply was just a desperate 'uh huh'.
So I tapped him on the back and left to go back to bed.
What followed was enormous banging coming from the same bathroom Aaron was in. I decided to just leave him to do what he wants but was told the following morning through another source what was actually happening.

Aaron had decided to take a shower but somehow was struggling to close the shower door, even though there is no lock of any kind and just needs to be pulled towards him to close it. So all
I can imagine is that he was pulling it so furiously that it was bouncing back out the hinge, making him think something was wrong. A very surprised Abbie was then the unfortunate person to open the bathroom door to see him now naked and very confused to why the shower door wasn't closing and wasn't even switching on. He hadn't switched on the correct switch and just stood there in bewilderment. Abbie then helped him switch on the shower and left him. She returned 20 minutes later to find him naked and sleeping on the floor of the bathroom in the pitch black.

Adding to supplies
Next morning.

Myself and Billy first met him on the sofa looking pretty awful and asked him what happened and what time he got back. He didn't know and had no recollection of what had happened the night before and that someone apart from his mother had now seen him naked. So Billy and I decided to see what state his room was in.

Firstly there was sick on his bed and his bin had a lovely puddle of the previous nights dinner and vodka. However the most shocking element was walking into his room. I was wearing slippers, Billy was not and he quickly commented on how the majority of the carpet was soaking wet.
'Maybe its water?' Billy asked in hoping that I would agree.
'Maybe it's not?' I replied starting to giggle. Billy on the other hand, did not find it very amusing.
So to clarify we asked Aaron what the substance on his floor was and it was indeed urine. However, the smell, according to Aaron did not occur until the Monday after and he has informed me that it still lingers.

He did attempt to clean up mind you. He used Billy's flannel which he claims, 'no one used'. He has now promised to purchase a new one for Billy who is distraught that one of his Christmas presents has been used to soak up urine.

This story is pretty tame in comparison to others but I thought I better start light and build up to the really ridiculous events that have happened.

Monday 26 January 2015

Mini-saga (50 word story)

As part of my creative writing module this term, we were asked to go to a museum and take inspiration to write a piece of flash fiction, an exact 50 words story. This was inspired by a replica of a bomb shelter from the second world war. 

The leftovers

In a cold and twisted heap, it stank of decisions of powerful men. The metal with its black scars ripped through the onlookers. Sour understanding the haven from the shells, the unpredictable rain, was never protection but an unmarked grave for those who lack the simplicity of luck and fortune.


Sunday 25 January 2015

House mates and the kitchen

One of the greatest aspects of university is the ability to meet new people from different parts of the country or even the world. However, the biggest difference to meeting people on a night out or at work for example is that you don't need to live with them and forced to live with their habits.

I live in a 10 bedroom house in Coventry with 8 of the 9 guys here being people I was aware to be living with after knowing them through first year. This meant that a certain ease was felt when we changed from halls in first year, where you have your own room and that's it, to sharing a house and all of the facilities that comes with it. Yet even though I knew who I was to be living with, there was a little twitch in my mind towards how I might find their way of living and if it were to disrupt mine.

I like to think I get on with all the people I live with and that arguments are kept to a minimum but something that has become increasingly apparent whilst living in a house is the difference in opinion over something as simple as cleanliness. This isn't to do with personal hygiene as most of us smell relatively decent for 20 year old lads. The problem lies in the heart of any house, the kitchen.

We can all cook to a certain level, some prefer to really cook their food but really we don't require that much assistance in the kitchen individually. However, only 50% seem to know how to clean up after themselves. 

I would consider myself pretty good at keeping the kitchen clean and will happily do a bit of extra washing up that doesn't belong to me. But after about a month of these kind gestures I realised they weren't being returned and someone thought that this extra work I was doing was to allow them to not wash up at all. 

This is John, the worst culprit.
Washing up is boring as hell and sometimes disgusting but why do people think it is fine to just not do it?! And what's worse is that people who leave their stuff piling up in the sink say 'it's my stuff, don't worry about it'. I'm not worried about it at all. I just would prefer to have a kitchen to not stink of cooked egg and chicken from two days prior. And if you are aware that you haven't done the washing up for the day, just go do it! 

I have learnt that it is just best to be firm with the slobs and to tell them to do it at the time of asking. If they say no, just raise the volume and they usually do it. Or just move their stuff to somewhere they can't find it till they ask and promise to do it. 

Now if you're reading this and agreeing then I feel your pain. If you are reading this and don't know what I'm talking about then I am sorry to say that its probably you who is the irritant. And others who probably think I am being over dramatic over a bit of washing up, you try finding your fork in a water filled sink cloudy with used food only to bring out with your bare hand a piece 3 day old wet chicken (if identifiable) that wasn't even yours in the first place.



Friday 23 January 2015

Back to the student bar!

Tonight returns the most enjoyable time of the week, the Friday night student bar drinking session.

Uni students usually come in three forms. The clubbers, the pubbers and the non-drinkers.

Non-drinkers are a rare breed but do exist in the bowels of the library or eating some fancy meal with the money they have that wasted on booze.

The clubbers usually just like pre-drinking themselves into oblivion, clubbing and hoping for themselves to wake up next to a new friend, this applying mostly to guys, girls are far more sensible.

The pubbers, like myself, enjoy going to a pub, drinking their body weight in alcohol, grabbing some food and somehow finding their home. It seems to be that no matter how drunk I have got in the past, I might not know my name or where I was 5 minutes prior, I WILL find my home. Sometimes with an injury from falling over en route or some sign or traffic cone that asked to come along with me. If you aren't the one who does do this, you will have a friend who does. Mine being a lad called Aaron, or 'Sat-nav', this being due to his ability to find anywhere after alcohol is administered. His collection within his room at the end of the first year of uni would be enough to compete with any builders supplies.

Our 'local' is a student bar called ''Quids', which sounds promising from the title which is due to 99% of shots being a pound each.

The usual will be a £2 pint of Carlsberg for myself and the others a £2.50 pint of Strongbow for the cider drinkers.

The night will usually start with keen and polite conversation with the pints going down at a surprisingly quick pace, maybe the odd shot now and then. This is then followed by the odd submission in the juke box. Oasis being a cliche but common choice.

After the 5/6th pint, the pace of consumption will slow a little bit and the banter to turn sour.

Every group has 'that' guy who always seems to get the piss taken out of.

We luckily have about 3/4 which means the nights are never dull, the group being of about 8-15, depending on work load etc.


At pint 7/8 some will go to a club, some might have 'hit the wall' and others just carry on with the banter flowing. The banter can vary from someone doing something ridiculous during the week, or anytime really, or if you are like our friend Chris, have a Dad called Brian who likes cooking and so happens to be bald, and have this escalate into him being Brian the bumder. Might not be funny to you but for us it could lift the mood on any situation. (Nothing homosexual in cooking or being bald by the way)    

At pint 9/10 it is usually time to leave. However this is not before getting a tower-burger meal. Now you might ask what this is? It is simply a chicken burger with a hash brown inserted. Might sound simple but it is hands down the only thing you want at that stage of the night.

The next part I'm not entirely sure about but we seem to find our way home and into bed. I can't really elaborate anymore on that.

The next morning is usually a hangover, a cup of coffee, a bacon sandwich and a good laugh at the clubbers who 'were so close to pulling' the night before but in essence walked a girl home for her to say, goodnight and close the door.

This happens every weekend without fail. Tonight is my first since being home for Christmas and I can't wait!







Thursday 22 January 2015

The next step to the rest of your life

Today I went to a lecture for a module called 'Career and Project Planning' and this yet again reignited that same old fear and question, 'what you are doing as a career?'

When the lecturer spoke about careers I couldn't help but think to myself, 'should I know what I am going to do? Does everyone else know?' The simple answer to this is NO. I have considered teaching, writing, marketing and journalism throughout the last few years. I had even considered becoming a solicitor but after taking A-level Law that quickly changed. But none of these paths ever felt like a concrete decision.

Now it almost seems cliche that in the media there is always that same old saying, 'oh it is so much harder for the youth today' or 'it's a tough world out there'. These seem to me to be both patronising and unnecessarily negative. Those who say this in aim of support seem to make us seem like we are unaware that the economy is shot, politicians are, most the time, snobby, wealthy and old-fashioned idiots and that jobs seem to be impossible to come by. However, whenever you ask about your uncles, aunties or whoevers jobs, they always seem to be in some position doing something peculiar which I have never heard of. Or have you ever asked a mate what their parents do for them to reply, 'I'm not sure really'?

It is only when you sit back and think about what you're going to do that you realise that no matter what you decide to do now or within the next 5-10 years, when you're 50+ you will, 80% of the time, be doing something completely different. So in essence, for the time being the most important thing is to just get some income so you can enjoy your 20s at least with little concern and take your time and explore the different opportunities that are out there.

The best example I can give is that of my auntie. She came out with a degree in art, a degree often discredited as being a waste of time! She has now worked her way up to a position that earns a very respectable salary as head of a marketing team in the company she works for.

I would like to find someone who has come out of uni with a degree in any of the arts to say 'I'm doing this to get into business' or, and perhaps more importantly, for someone to tell me that a degree in one subject will stop me from getting a job in another.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that whether you have 1 GCSE in travel and tourism or whether you have a 1st in Biomechanical science, don't believe that you have to find the career that will be paying for your pension in 50 years time right now!

Just sit back and have a think at something you would like to do long term whilst working in something for the time being. Then when you put yourself in a position that when a opportunity comes about, take it!

I will for the next 2 years be under pressure to find a career path and I will be working hard to find one. But I don't think this ideology of 'sort the rest of your life right now!' will help.

It is a big, ugly world out there but as long as you work hard at whatever job you are doing, or just to get a job, for the time being it wont be so ugly to you. And if you find yourself doing a job you hate, just stick at it but work your arse off to get that opportunity to get to the next step in your career.


For the time being I will fill myself with knowledge of career paths and focusing on getting the degree in the first place. And at the weekends, just do what most university students do...

                                    (This an old photo by the way, now I have one in each hand.)


Wednesday 21 January 2015

An insight into the stereotype of uni life


University life is often believed to be a booze obsessed and money stricken experience but there is so much to it than that... sometimes. 

Now it varies greatly on what you study. If you are like myself who is currently doing an English degree (at Coventry University) it is usually scrutinised for being a 'hobby' or 'dos' degree. This is most likely due to the vast amounts of spare time given to students. However, this isn't for the use of sleeping or discussing the ways in which a budget of £2.50 can be used to supply sufficient amount of alcohol for a night out; we leave that for the math students.
No.
This time is allocated for the in-depth reading of many texts but those who study math or some other 'useful' degree seem to regard this as a enjoying past time. 
In response to this I say that reading texts such as 'Absalom, Absalom!' is not always an enjoyable experience. But I would rather be doing this than doing 4 pages of calculations to find that the value of x was some number I could not care less about. 

Debates between the southerners and northerners are common within the university household. 

If you are from the south of England like myself and speak correctly (awaiting some comment about that), you will find many others will like to argue the pronunciation of 'grass', 'brass' or 'bath'. Granted that bath is not spelt 'barth' but that is the way it's said, get over it.

Another common debate/ argument is whether the meal you have at around 1pm is 'lunch' or 'dinner' and whether your evening meal is 'tea' or 'dinner'. Apparently 'lunch' doesn't exist up north... Thankfully though we can agree on breakfast being in the morning. 

The nights out, drinking, societies/ sports will be posted in another blog as that is an entire subject in itself and will need sufficient concentration to understand how a pack of 4, yes only 4, 'K' ciders will leave the rest of the night to someone else's doing.

So to just finish off, if you are from the south and find yourself living with northerners, just play along with it, they will learn eventually. And if you are from the north and reading this then us southerners aren't too bothered about how you say things, we can't understand you half the time anyway.
 Me (middle) trying to escape a couple of northerners in a club. They sniffed me out from the crowd and didn't leave me for the rest of the night.







Tuesday 20 January 2015

Lets give it a go... What to expect from my blog!

Age:20
Coventry University- English and Creative Writing Student
Interests: Music + sport (main interest in rugby).
What I will write about: I will post my own creative writing; the odd bit on sport or music; my views on current news and happenings in the world and a little insight into university life. 
Posts will be updated regularly so keep an eye out and every post will give something different so all audiences will be kept happy some of the time... maybe even all of the time! 

First 'official' post will be done tomorrow with an overview on uni life. 

Lets give it a go...